ZOMBIE MANOR HOUSE

To the Manor Swarm!

 

The secluded manor awaits. Once a thriving house and home, then a top secret research facility, now just a zombie fest… The gardener no longer has green fingers; come to think of it, he no longer has fingers! But you’ll know it’s him, ‘cos if it’s raining he’ll be the one in a brraaaiiin coat <mwahhahah>

What can be done to rid this creepy, scary, positively evil old manor house of the undead, the wretched and the damned we here you cry? Well, it’s funny you mention that as, um, that’s where you come in. But the sixty four thousand dollar question is however, will you make it back out again…

This mission is no small order troops, and as such you’ll be given some hard hitting training before you are unleashed on the walking dead. In-depth weaponry  and hand to hand combat, gained over minutes worth of tuition will set you up nicely. And remember to pack your antihistamine cream – not for zombie bites, no we’re talking about the dead wasps that infest the gardens – you know, the zombees

We should mention the estate grounds really, as not only do you have to crawl and trawl the hallways and passages of the manor house itself – and sadly you’ll find that the electricity supply can be as temperamental as the rotting lurchers who are dying to eat you – but there’s also over sixty lonely acres of gardens to skirmish with the soulless in.

Upstairs, downstairs – they all lead to despairs! The once grand facade now providing an eerie backdrop to the battle at hand. The long dead owners were reportedly turned by the first wave of zombie attackers, but by all accounts won’t be joining you on the day as they’re apparently on their favourite cruise, in the Deaditerranean

For over two hours you’ll be in this stately home, or is it Lee’s home that’s in a state? Regardless, you’ll be fighting to keep your brains in your head and your liver in your torso; so work together as there’s no “I in TEAM”, however the zombies will be teaming and they do like eyes.

This is the zombie manor house experience of a lifetime and will leave you with stories to tell down the pub. Yarns of battles that almost cost you your spleen. Raise aloft your trophy dentures wrestled from a zombie called Clive and raise a toast to fallen comrades! You’re likely to get barred of course, but such is the sacrifice you make when you sign up to be a warrior against the legions of the doomed. Join us.

I say, I say, I say
QDo you know why zombies totally refuse to eat any comedians?

ABecause, wait for it, they reckon they taste funny… Boom, boom!

 

Deep in the countryside there's murder most foul. No really. Stinky, rotting flesh, undead zombies everywhere type foul. But enough of the sales pitch...